The songs that changed my life

Music is one of my biggest passions in life: unfortunately not making music (I wish I had that talent, but alas, I don’t!), but discovering new music, going to live shows and just feeling things when I listen to certain songs. It’s no surprise that there are songs that changed my life.

Music is really special like that. A simple song can have such an effect on you in an instance: it can make you insanely happy or bring tears to your eyes at the first sound of a chord, it can transport you back to memories long forgotten or remind you of someone special. It can bring people together and help people through tough times.

So I wanted to write a blog post about some of the songs that have changed my life!

BOWLING FOR SOUP | Punk Rock 101

Bowling For Soup’s Punk Rock 101 was probably one of the very first rock (or pop rock, if you want to get specific) songs I ever heard that got me onto the track of enjoying rock music and enjoying gigs. I’d grown up listening to rock music already (my dad used to put on Queen to help me sleep as a baby!), but during a time in high school when I was so used to following in the crowd and liking what everyone else liked – because I hadn’t yet found ‘my’ music style, Bowling For Soup were like an awakening for me. Hearing those catchy guitar riffs and finding the rocker-boy singer oh-so-cute was like a total wake up call for me. I absolutely fell in love with Bowling For Soup/rock music that day…and then took the plunge to see them live with my sister. It was a tiny gig at a University but I’d never been to anything like it. Sweaty people moshing in the crowd, fans screaming lyrics, loud guitars and that atmosphere – that moment the lights go out and the band is about to come on stage and you could scream with anticipation – I fell in love with that feeling. That was my first of probably hundreds of rock gigs (many of which have been Bowling For Soup!) and honestly, I have that band to thank for that.

ENTER SHIKARI | Live Outside

Despite having seen Enter Shikari quite a lot when I was a teenager – as they’re a local band – I enjoyed their music but never really became a fan. When I went to Boomtown Festival in 2018, I saw Enter Shikari live again – this time in a much different setting than previously (dingy little clubs in Luton). I was having a great time at the festival but I was also going through a really tough break up with someone who had decided to take the girl he left me for to the festival, despite the fact that we were supposed to go together. Safe to say, I definitely spent some of the festival on edge, really worried I’d bumped into him!

Anyway, I’d had a tough few months. Then when we went to see Enter Shikari, things seemed to change. It may have been my total party mode, my friends around me or the fact that I was very, very drunk but I remember when Live Outside came on, I got goosebumps, I lost myself to the music and for a moment I was just so euphoric and happy. For a long time, I never thought I could be that happy again. I realized I couldn’t remember the last time I was that happy. So despite the break up being hard, it was the first time I realized that I was okay and that there is life after love! I didn’t ‘get over’ the entire break up in that one night of course – there were still many tears afterwards – but it was that moment – and that song – that I turned a corner and realized I was okay.

Read more: My favourite artists to see live

THE MAINE | Into Your Arms

So here’s the story of how I discovered The Maine: I was scrolling through Tumblr one day and this gif comes up of this floppy haired cute guy smiling at the camera. It caught my eye because it looked exactly like a guy I’d had a huge crush on in college. I decided I liked the lyrics written beneath, googled them, listened to the song (Into Your Arms) – and was besotted by the band and the music. I listened to a few more of their songs, and then a few weeks later, a few more after that. Then I bought their album. Then I got tickets to see them live. Then I shamelessly fell in love with the lead singer. Then I saw them live again, and again. Then I made friends who also liked the band. Then we toured around the UK, seeing the band at every single tour date for their week of touring. Then we met them. Again and again…and that’s now I became a groupie!

Just kidding. I didn’t become a groupie. But I did become, sort of, in with the band. I had nights out with the band and began to almost see them as my friends, as my drinking buddies. We had a bonfire on Brighton beach. I spent the whole evening getting drunk with the lead singer at a VIP after party at Warped Tour. We invited them to join us at a basement jazz club another time in Brighton and ended up dancing with them until the early hours of the morning, later descending upon a takeaway shop and trying to explain to these American boys all about the culture of the drunken UK takeaway and what was what.

I don’t listen to the band as much now but they still have a special place in my heart. Thanks to that song, I had a bunch of crazy adventures, made some memories I’ll never forget and met some wonderful people. I still find it weird when a song of theirs pops up on Spotify or I hear their name mentioned somewhere and I’m like ‘Wow. I had some awesome nights out with these American rock stars. I spent a week following them around on tour. They knew me on a name-by-name basis. That lead singer bought me drinks’. And it’s that song – Into Your Arms – that I have to thank for that crazy time!

Oh, and there was also this really weird thing about how it made no sense that I’d never come across the band before, considering they were friends with and made similar music to so many other bands I loved at the time like All Time Low. Some of the members even appeared in one of my favourite Good Charlotte music videos that I’d seen many times. They supported my favourite bands on tour – but somehow none of the shows I ended up going to. Oh and get this: a guy I was interested in once was in a band and DID A COVER of one of The Maine’s songs: I loved the cover so much and always said I’d check out the original but never got around to it. HOW WEIRD IS THAT? It was basically fate for me to like this band.

TWENTY ONE PILOTS | Kitchen Sink

Twenty One Pilots have actually had a huge impact on my life since I discovered them, but Kitchen Sink holds a special place in my heart (amongst a few others). After my mum died, I was going through a really shit time and not getting on very well with my dad, so I temporarily moved in with my nan. I wasn’t working at the time either, so naturally, things got on top of me. I fell into a bad sleeping pattern and before I knew it, I was wide awake most nights at 3am, panicking about my life, convinced I was wasting my life away and feeling suffocated by the four walls around me. I’ve since realized that I may have been experiencing anxiety attacks. I started listening to music to help calm myself down and the one song that always helped me was Kitchen Sink. I related to some of the lyrics so much:

Are you searching for purpose?
Then write something, yeah it might be worthless
Then paint something then, it might be wordless
Pointless curses, nonsense verses
You’ll see purpose start to surface
No one else is dealing with your demons
Meaning maybe defeating them
Could be the beginning of your meaning, friend

And it made me realize that you don’t always have to be doing something great with your life to have purpose. You don’t always have to be moving forward. You can find yourself unable to sleep at 3am panicking about everything, but even by being alive in that moment and trying to overcome it, you’ve got a purpose by trying to overcome those demons.

BUSTED | What I Go To School For

Although Bowling For Soup were the band that made me fall in love with rock music and live music, Busted were the band that taught me that I can listen to my own music (and not be a sheep!) and basically began my obsession for band boys. I vividly remember my best friend at the time beckoning me around her house because she wanted to show me this new music video she liked which was, of course, Busted’s debut single: What I Go To School For.

I was obsessed with them from that moment forwards! In fact, a few years ago I read an article about how, looking back, Busted were more than your average manufactured pop band. They were one of the first ‘pop bands’ to actually play their own instruments, to really launch the idea of street teaming and to play on the idea that ‘sex sells’. All the girls fancied Charlie, Matt and James – and I was no exception. I became borderline obsessed with the idea that if I got to see them live and meet Charlie’s eye, I would somehow stand out from the crowd, he would think I was something special and fall in love with me. Alas in the three times I did see them live, that never happened (although I do still insist we shared eye contact a couple of times).

But the point is, I was my shy teenage self who only liked guys from afar the same way everyone else did – I thought Leonardo Di Caprio was cute because, well, so did everyone else. Busted tapped into that angsty teenage lush side of me that I didn’t even know existed. I loved their music and their songs about sex and on and off relationships and I also worshipped them for their good looks! One year my mum even made me a pillowcase with their faces on LOL. It was an absolute dream to see them live again on their comeback tour. I still love them (more so their older stuff but I do need to sit down and give their new music a proper chance!), although I’ve long given up hope on marrying Charlie Simpson..

HARRY DIXON LOES? | This Little Light of Mine

I wouldn’t say this hymn changed my life, but it holds such a special place in my heart and we often say it’s my mum’s ‘song’. Shortly after she passed away, we found the lyrics ‘this little light of mine, I’m going to let it shine’ scribbled on a piece of paper from my mum. We don’t know when or why she wrote it. As far as I know, she never listened to hymns – and I’d never heard this particular hymn – but it seemed so fitting. And it really is such a lovely and upbeat hymn too! So my brother, sister and I all got the lyrics tattooed on our wrists – in her writing, exactly as she wrote it – in memory of her. It was my first tattoo and I absolutely adore it. Not only does it remind me of my wonderful mum who was so full of life, it also serves as a link to my siblings and I. And whenever I look down to read it, it reminds me that I should let my light shine at all times.

And some others…

There are a few other songs that mean a lot to me just because I’ve resonated with the lyrics a lot. These songs don’t necessarily have a story behind them but they’re still special to me:

The Maine – Like We Did (When We Were Lost): If we’re lost, at least it’s together
Jimmy Eat World – Work: When the dance is through, it’s me and you, Come on, would it really be so bad?
The Maine – Fucked Up Kids: I am raw and invincible

I realize this post got real personal real quick! But being in lockdown has given me a lot of time to get to know myself better, to spend time looking after my mental health and writing more personal posts like this one.

I haven’t listened to a lot of music on lockdown, but I’m praying for the day we’re able to go gigs again, as I miss that feeling so much.

Are there any songs that you hold close to your heart, that have changed your life or always stuck with you? Let me know!