Louise Joy, Author at Formidable Joy

Louise Joy / 18th August 2018

PERSONAL | How a music festival helped me get over my break up

It sounds absurd to say now, but I thought my ex was the one. I was no holds barred crazy in love with my ex boyfriend and I can honestly say I’d never felt that way before. The relationship was unstable at times and we drove each other crazy, but even when he bailed on our future oh so many times, I still had a feeling deep down inside telling me that we had a future together. It was almost like I couldn’t ‘see’ that future, but had that ‘just knowing’ feeling that people talk about when they meet the one.

As it goes, my so called ‘one’ decided to break my heart and, possibly, leave me for another girl (not confirmed but assumed from the evidence I have seen online. Hey, social media stalking is totally normal after a break up). But this break up hit me hard. So hard that I cried in the toliets at a blog event just at the thought of my ex being on dating websites. So hard that one of my oldest friends proclaimed she was worried about me as she’d never seen me this cut up over a guy before (and she’d seen me get over a relationship that was even more unstable/up and down than this one!). So hard that I very nearly sold/gave up my expensive Boomtown Fair ticket just because I was scared I’d see him there with his new girlfriend.

Let’s look at the facts here though to really drive this home.

Formidable Joy | Personal | How a music festival helped me get over my break up | Love | Relationships

Boomtown Fair has an estimated 60,000 people attend/camp every year, so you can imagine how slim the chances of me bumping into him would have been. But I do have the worst luck with stuff like that and always bump into people I know/ex’s at music festivals.
My Boomtown ticket was something like nearly £300 altogether. I was willing to not only sell this but possibly even just give it up and not go and lose all that money.
I am a girl that says yes to everything! I love random adventures and quirky music festivals so the fact that I almost said no to this just because of bumping into him made me so sad.

It sounds silly now, but I couldn’t even comprehend what I would do if I saw him with the girl he supposedly left me for. Or any girl. Or even just him alone. I was petrified it would ruin my whole experience, that I’d run back to the tent and cry for hours on end or get horribly, horribly drunk and do god knows what.

As it goes, I manned up and just went in the end, only with the belief that I probably wouldn’t even see him. And, the promise from my friend that if she saw him, she’d simply march me away with no explanation. I actually thought I saw him in the distance at one time and I panicked so much that I ducked behind a chair! But it wasn’t him, luckily, haha.

It was probably the second night when I was however many drinks in, dancing like a loony to a random band with my best friend beside me when I realized, ‘oh, hold on, I can’t actually remember the last time I cried over him’. And then thought, actually I’m kind of okay. Actually, if he was here, I doubt he’d be doing the same thing as me and that I was having a really bloody good time and that suddenly I’d come to realize that our lives had gone into completely different directions..and I was kind of okay with that.

It took a few more instances to help that feeling stick. It took me kissing a cute boy (who I probably shouldn’t have kissed) and donning a mermaid crown. It involved me doing so many insane and crazy things that weekend. My ex would never have done those things with me; he wasn’t a fan of trying new things. And when it poured down with rain and we were stuck in our tent for a few hours, I still couldn’t be sad. I thought about how my ex was probably hating this festival right now because it was just so out there so for it to rain and be cold would have been horrible for him. He hated to travel too and deep down I want someone who likes to travel and likes to say yes to adventure and crazy out there things.

So even though the hurt of how he left me and how happy he is is yet to go away (not that I don’t want him to be happy, I just think its a little unfair how he can leave me for someone else in a horrible, horrible way and be happy in a new relationship with no remorse), I am okay.

Boomtown would have been fun with him. He didn’t like to try new things, but, with a push, he’d give things a go with my encouragement. It meant I would have had warm snuggles when sheltering from the rain and an endless supply of butterfly kisses when waiting in line. It meant I would have had someone to carry me over all the mud and someone to look after me when I drunk too much. It meant I could have added more amazing memories to our once amazing relationship and honestly? It meant he probably would have had a more amazing time with me then what he probably did in reality (I assume just getting drunk the whole time and partying, from what I’ve been told about the people he went with – I can’t imagine he took the time to explore or experience all the crazy and fun things that I did.)

Oh, and this isn’t a dig at him. Even though he hurt me, he was the most amazing person I ever met. I loved him so, so much and I’m so, so thankful for everything he did for me and all the great times we had together. I’ll probably always love him on some level, just, due to the way everything played out, I just don’t like him very much as a person right now. Love him still in someway, yes, probably. But not like. And I know you all know what I mean by that.

I am enjoying being single and the prospect of adventures when I like with whoever I like. I am okay with making my favourite vegan pizza for myself now and I think I am finally okay with accepting that I’ll never see my amazing extended Romanian family again (who I still miss so much). I am okay with accepting he is the type of person to jump from relationship to relationship when I simply am not and cannot. I am okay with the possibility that I may just bump into him one day in the future and that I can be civil and nice..although luckily I can’t see this ever happening..!

But hey. I had an even more amazing time without him and that’s why this festival helped me get over this break up. So if you’re ever struggling to get over a break up, spend an obscene amount of money on a festival ticket without even doubting how much money you’re spending. Get your best friends together, make yourself a pretty floral crown, go to that music festival and say yes to as many goddamn crazy, unique and out there things you can.

Because after that, you’ll never look back.

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Louise Joy / 16th August 2018

LIFESTYLE | 5 photos that sum up my Boomtown Fair experience

Oh Boomtown Fair. What words can I use to describe this festival that will do it justice? I don’t even know where to begin. Boomtown Fair was one of the most amazing and craziest experiences of my life (even though I’m still suffering from a swollen foot/unknown injuries from the weekend). I want to tell everyone about it but the festival itself is just so oddball and unique that I also don’t want to give everything away!

So instead I’m going to share five photos that sum up my Boomtown Fair experience and why.

Here, my friend Briony and I are being cleansed of our sins as we are not virgins. Basically, when exploring Old Town, we found so many quirky tiny bars and in this particular bar we stumbled across this tiny, tiny room where this..interesting lady was looking for a husband. She found one, but he had to be cleansed of his sins first. How? By climbing into a trunk and her shouting god knows what and waving a phone around pretending it was a shower head. Naturally it was our turn next…

This was probably taken on our most sober night of all in one of the hidden forests. I LOVED the hidden forests. They reminded me of Lost Village. One had makeshift ponds built with floating/hanging pods over them, accessible by a mini-bridge when you needed to chill out. On this night, we danced for what seemed like hours and grabbed random men, trying to get them to create this hilarious video with us. Why is it so hilarious? I don’t know. It was just the running joke of the weekend. Anyway. This is us with our cat ears and the pretty lanterns/lampshades in the background. It honestly felt like we’d walked into a fairytale.

The whole world of Boomtown was just…amazing. They’d paid so much attention to detail for all the different sets and worlds. This was taken in Dstrkt 5 (I think) and the entire area just reminded me of the new twenty one pilots video; a run down council estate almost, covered in graffiti and junk and everything that was eye-opening. This was definitely my favourite district after Old Town and I wish I had longer to explore it all.

Here’s me with my amazing mermaid crown. Unfortunately it rained quite a bit so we couldn’t dress up in our festival outfits as much as we’d liked, but we managed to go all out a couple of times and DAMN isn’t this mermaid crown pretty? I bought the shell base and then my colleague and I added gems and feathers to give it that extra wow factor.

And, finally, here’s me visiting the medical tent for the very serious matter of…needing a plaster for my blister on my foot. For some reason, I didn’t think to bring a first aid kid or any plasters and we got caught in a TOTAL downpour one day. My boots soaked through, they rubbed against my feet..and basically I had to sit in the medical tent and fill in a form and have my toe examined just for a couple of plasters, haha. As it goes – two days on – I actually have a really swollen and sprained foot now. How? I have no idea. But no festival/party/session is complete without me hurting myself some how.

So, there we have five photos summing up my time at the festival. I wish I’d taken more but, to be honest, I was just too busy having fun. We got up to a lot more than just what went on here, the places we explored, the weird adventures we went on..the list is endless. But I don’t want to give too much away, so this blog post is just a small taster of how amazing the whole weekend was.

Have you ever been to Boomtown Fair or are you planning to go next year? Let me know!

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Louise Joy / 8th August 2018

ENTERTAINMENT | My favourite French movies

I’m kind of cultured, y’know! I love indie movies and edgy horrors but I’ve never really given much thought to foreign movies. However, since discovering a few on Netflix, I soon realized that over the years there’s a few French movies I absolutely adore.

Not only are movies in another language kinda educational (you’re hearing a whole other language), but they can also be absolutely beautiful in terms of setting and culture.

Here are some of my favourite French movies.

THE EXTRAORDINARY ADVENTURES OF ADELE BLANC-SAC
My sister and I discovered this movie years and years ago on a whim and didn’t expect much of it but ended up absolutely loving it. This oddball French Fantasy film follows, well, the extraordinary adventures of Adele Blanc-Sac! Fun fact, it’s directed by Luc Besson (who is responsible for The Fifth Element!) and the main character is played by a beyond beautiful French actress, model and television presenter who is also called Louise (Bourgoin!). The movie is really offbeat and beautiful and for some reason, was the basis of so many inside jokes between my sister and I for years to come.

BLOCKBUSTER
I discovered Blockbuster on Netflix, seeing it dubbed as an indie romcom. It’s effortlessly funny and romantic and is really heart warming too. It basically tells the story of inspiring movie maker Jérémy who tries to win his superhero loving girlfriend back by using an elaborate scheme. In between filming it all and visiting his sick dad, Jérémy will no doubt tug at your heart strings – in a good way.

I AM NOT AN EASY MAN
I caught this on Netflix recently and it was so much better than I thought it would be. It’s actually the second French Netflix original movie, right after Blockbuster. It tells the story of Damien a shameless chauvinist who is basically kind of a douchebag and who sleeps around. One day, he walks straight into a pole and knocks himself out (having been too busy checking out women) then, when he wakes up, all the roles between men and women are reversed. Woman are powerful and strong CEOs, driving posh cars and using men for sex, whereas men are secretaries and housekeepers…even in marriage men are the ones to wear a wedding dress. Though the film is hilarious, it opened my eyes to so many things that, as a woman, I kind of put up with and don’t even think twice about. My favourite part is when a woman refuses to sleep with Damien because his chest is too hairy…so he goes and gets waxed and leaves a landing strip. It’s gold, really.

AMELIE
This one is obvious. It’s a beautiful, heartwarming movie with some real beautiful locations. I didn’t like it as much as I thought I would (probably because it was so bigged up), but I did really enjoy it and would watch it again. It’s a sweet movie and will make you fall in love with the city of Paris – if you haven’t already.

PAULETTE
Paulette is an offbeat movie about an old lady who begins to deal weed to overcome overdue bills – yes, it sounds strange, but it’s oddly brilliant. It’s beyond witty and, though contains a few less than PC jokes, the characters are really likeable too. The entire film is not what you’d expect but what makes it even better is that it’s said to be based on a true story..!

These are five French films I thoroughly enjoyed – which is surprising even to me because half the time I really cannot be bothered with subtitles! But these films are worth enduring subtitles for – trust me.

What are your favourite foreign movies? Let me know!

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Louise Joy / 6th August 2018

TECH | 5 apps to help keep your mental health in check

Technology and the internet can be a funny thing – it brings both bad and good to our lives. Some argue that modern technology has made our generation lonelinier than ever, whereas others sing it’s praises. One thing it can be good for (for the most part) is mental health. Luckily, there’s an array of apps that can help you keep your mental heath in check – simply at a click of a button.

Here are some I have found particularly helpful.

DAYLIO
Perhaps one of my favourite apps so far, this app is simple and takes just a minute to update each day. You simply rate your day on a scale from ‘rad’ to ‘awful’, tag what you’ve been up to (good meal, seeing friends, being productive etc) and, if you so wish, you can also add some notes. That’s it. You can look back later on to see your stats which includes a lovely monthly mood chart. You can also upgrade to the premimum version for a small fee and this will allow you to add your own tags of what you’ve been up to (I’ve added blogging), and choose a different colour scheme. It’s definitely the most prettiest of the apps listed in this post and as it’s so simple and quick to use, it’s very easy to find the time (or be reminded!) to update each day – and hit that streak too.

MOODSPACE
Moodspace is an app I’ve only just began to use, but I’m enjoying this dreamy and inspiring app already. Moodspace combines a mood tracker with meditation, offering mood workouts and meditations to listen to, alongside daily prompts such as ‘three clouds’ (three things that went well today or three things you’re grateful for). The interface is ever so pretty too.

THE HAPPINESS PLANNER
Following in the footsteps of the book, The Happiness Planner (app) is a little in-depth for an app but the clean interface will satisfy anyone who wants the book but just doesn’t have the time to always fill it in. The app offers inspiring daily quotes and a few prompts that relate to everyday life, such as to-do lists and what you’re excited about. However, some downsides are that the free version is limited and it can take a while to get used to using the app and having a lot to fill in. Still, if you want just one go-to app which also works as a diary, this is perfect for that.

REPLIKA
This app is aimed at a more younger generation, but I downloaded it and checked it out and although it’s not something I’ve needed to use since, it’s a bloody good app. Replika is an AI that you can talk to whenever you feel lonely or want to get anything off your chest, but it also prompts you and asks you questions to get to know you better. It almost bridges that gap between feeling lonely with every technology – yes, it’s an AI at the end of the day, but it checks in on you so for someone who may be feeling lonely, it’s very useful. That being said, it isn’t overbearing and you can check in only when you feel you need to. It’s creepily accurate and realistic too.

MENTAL SNAPP
I’ve blogged about this app before, but Mental Snapp is particularly useful because it relies on the use of video diaries to record your feelings. You talk about your emotions and how the day has gone, and, depending on what tags you use, the app will suggest what to record next and what to talk about further.

I’ve found these apps really helpful over the past six month or so. Even just updating Daylio on a daily basis makes me feel like I’ve got my sh*t together – or at least starting to.

Do you use apps like the ones above to keep a check on your mental health or do you prefer more traditonal methods like keeping a diary? Let me know!

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Louise Joy / 2nd August 2018

LIFESTYLE | Hello August

August is a good month. I’ve got a music festival to look forward to (more on that below), the first ever magazine with me listed as an editor will be published this month (eek!) and the sun is still shining. What could be better?

Here’s what I’m excited for this August.

THE BOOK
Lindsey Kelk’s latest offering – One in a Million – is a gooden. I’m about four chapters in so far and I am addicted. It’s all about social media extrodinare – Annie Higgins – who talks herself into the challenge of trying to make a random stranger Intagram-famous in just thirty days. The random stranger ends up being the slightly weird Dr Samuel Page – to whom there is more than meets the eye. Not only does Annie Higgins have the best job in the world (in an uber cool office too), she’s also incredibly down to earth. Oh, and Charlie Wilder from About a Girl (another great book from Lindsey Kelk) makes an appearance too..
One in a Million is out now.

THE MOVIE
I haven’t actually seen any trailers for this nor do I know much about it but I’m curious to see Slender Man. The legend of Slender Man is equally terrifying and fascinating and I used to read about it a lot when I was younger. It actually originated on creepypasta and it just goes to show that sometimes someone on a message board or just an average person can come up with something so much more scary than what movie producers come up with these days.
Slender Man will be released on the 10th August.

THE COMEBACK
TWENTY ONE PILOTS. TWENTY ONE PILOTS. TWENTY ONE PILOTS.
That’s all I have to say.
Not really. After being silent for so long, twenty one pilots have finally come back with two brand new singles, a worldwide tour and an album on the horizon. The songs are different – Nico and the Niners is super catchy, whereas Jumpsuit is rather grungy – but they’re the perfect stepping stone from the bands last album, Blurryface, to the next, Trench. Also, in a sad twist of events, I am desperate to know who provided the jumpsuits/wardrobes for the bands music videos/new look, being that I work in the PPE/workwear industry now. Imagine if whoever it was became my client…a girl can dream!
Trench will be released on the 5th October.

THE EVENT
Boomtown baby! It’s finally time for boomtown. My floral crown is nowhere near ready, I’ve only just booked in to get my hair cut (fringe is so long I can’t even see right now!) and I am absolutely petrified of bumping into my recent ex and his new girlfriend there but I am READY. ish. Bring it on! There’s still loads to do but I have been working my arse off lately and haven’t had a break since my ill-fated rainy long weekend in Berlin in January, so I cannot wait to dress up, get some sun and PARTY.
Boomtown Fair runs from the 9th to the 12th August.

ANYTHING ELSE?
I am obsessed with Unicorn Superfoods right now – their Instagram is an absolute dream. Ever wanted to make unicorn toast or space coloured donuts? This is the brand you need to hit up to achieve those #instaworthy foods. Better yet? The powders are 100% natural, they’re energizing, nourishing and, well, general super foods, they’re gluten free and they are ENTIRELY VEGAN. And yes, there’s even a recipe for super pretty vegan donuts on the website. Can I bake? No. Do I actually have the time or motivation to make smoothie bowls for breakfast? Hell no. Am I going to spend £50 for the Unicorn bundle? You bloody betcha. Keep your eyes peeled for some delicious looking creative food on my Instagram soon. Hopefully.
Visit www.unicornsuperfoods.com to find out more.

What are you excited for this August? Let me know!