DATING | My dating disasters

As well as having a few dates from hell in my life time, I can admit that I’ve made some of my own embarrassing dating disasters – hey, no one is perfect..

Luckily I can laugh at these kind of things (if a guy can’t handle my crazy side then he aint worth dating) and they lead onto pretty hilarious stories. Here are some of the dating disasters I’ve made over the years.

Formidable Joy | Formidable Joy Blog | Dating | Dating Disasters

Recently, I broke my phone. Well, when I say broke, I mean I smashed it on a night out, smashed it more on another night out and now sometimes it works perfectly (bar having a cracked screen) and other times it’ll just open random apps on my phone, type random messages etc. Once it even got stuck in Snapchat for three hours and I couldn’t swipe to switch my phone off then back on. But you know where this is going. I met a cute guy in London recently and I’m sorry but I have real ‘seize the moment’ feelings when it comes to this sort of thing and although I didn’t manage to get his number, I did manage to find him on facebook eventually.

If adding him and messaging him wasn’t stalkerish enough on my part (in my defence though, he did reply. He’s either as much as a dumbass as me for accepting my stalkerish behaviour or maybe he’s just a really ridiculously nice person), I was looking at his profile recently when my phone began having one of it’s episodes. Determined to stop my phone liking some random photo of his or something, I locked it and put it in my bag until I got home. When I eventually logged on again, my phone had somehow scrolled down his timeline and shared one of his life events to my facebook profile. *face palm*. I apologized profusely, but there’s no way he believed it was an accident. On the other hand, that kind of gesture is so batshit crazy that I like to believe no one would actually willingingly do that but who knows. It would only happen to me and I kind of wish my phone HAD just liked a random photo instead. At least then I could have laughed it off and been like yeah, sorry, I was perving on your photos, you’re fit..

I’d been seeing a guy for a bit, we stopped talking and eventually started talking again bit by bit. We arranged to go for a drink one evening and I was out shopping with my nan whilst texting him and I mentioned how my nan was driving me crazy. I put my phone away and it wasn’t until an hour later when I checked and saw his messages asking me why I didn’t tell him I had a baby…I’d only went and typed that my baby was driving me mad! (How my phone autocorrected nan to baby I don’t know!) Luckily, this one was easily laughed off.

Of course, I have also done the accidentally liking of an old photo of someone. Except it wasn’t the guy I was crushing on at the time. It was an old instagram photo of his new girlfriend and I had no reason to even know he had a girlfriend because a) we hadn’t spoken in months, b) it wasn’t announced on facebook and c) I only found out on Instagram even though I didn’t follow him on Instagram. I immediately made my profile private but, y’know, the damage was done.

Another time I was seeing a guy and it was early days. We’d met on Tinder but definitely hadn’t had that ‘are you talking to anyone else’ conversation yet. Although I later realized it was at this point he was starting to seem more and more off, he asked me what my plans were one day and I told him I was off to see my other nan (as in the nan I wasn’t staying with at the time), with lots of smiley faces. Three days later I actually realized I’d typed ‘other man’, and his reply was just ‘oh…cool’. I had no idea how to read that. It had sounded like a) I was leading two guys on at the same time and b) I was actually referring to him as ‘my man’ already, and his reply didn’t reveal much either. Another fuck up from yours truly.
Once when I was a love sick fan girl teenager, I was nosing at a rockstar’s facebook, found his rumoured girlfriend on facebook and accidentally sent her a friend request without realizing. I finally noticed around three months later and she’d obviously seen the request. And the giant photo of said rockstars band as my facebook banner, therefore making it fairly obvious I was an obsessive fangirl.

Oh, when in Amsterdam. Not that I promote the use of drugs but, y’know, when in Amsterdam you gotta try the (legal, may I add..) space cakes. Did you also know that in Amsterdam, many clubs have unisex toilets? Well, one evening, after one too many space cakes (okay, well, I had one to myself instead of half for my first time like the man suggested), me and my friend got chatting to these super hot Australian dudes. We excused ourselves to go to the bathroom and agreed to meet back at the bar and whilst in the bathroom, I practically begged my friend to let us hang out with them for the rest of the night because the guy I was talking to was apparently so fit. And then, moments later, the guys exit from the stalls (in the unisex toilets) obviously having heard the whole thing… *facepalm*

And of course, there’s been many, many, many drunken messages. Sometimes they’ve led to a good thing but most of the time it just makes me come across as really over the top. I can’t help it. I can play it cool, sure, but as soon as I get a drink in me, all that vagueness builds up and overloads into ten messages in a row of me talking about how fit someone is and how much I like them and how good they smell. It’s actually got to the point now where if I know I’m having a messy night and I know there is someone I shouldn’t be talking to drunk, I’ll actually DELETE their number in advance just to be safe.

I mean some of these things just baffle me. I’ll go out of my way to be so careful to avoid getting in situations like these and then they happen but in a way that’s a million times worse than they could have. And they always make me come across as someone who literally stalks people online 24/7 when it’s genuinely just a one off mistake. God help me.

Have you ever had any dating disasters that you just can’t live down? Let me know!

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    • 21st March 2017 / 4:43 pm

      Thanks! Interesting as well as embarrassing haha x

  1. 21st March 2017 / 5:44 am

    Dating is certainly challenging in this day and age, since so much of it takes place through apps and electronic communications! It makes me very glad I am not in the dating world!

    • 21st March 2017 / 4:44 pm

      It is! I don't think technology helps at all haha x

  2. 21st March 2017 / 9:43 am

    I had a few of the same disasters over the years as well! x

    • 21st March 2017 / 4:44 pm

      Thanks haha! At least I can laugh about it x

  3. 21st March 2017 / 4:34 pm

    I have really enjoyed this post, it is years since I last dated but when I was first going out with my now husband, we went out for a meal on our second date, I had a dessert and he decided not to, somehow I got it all up my arm and got in a complete mess, no idea how. He still reminds me about it now x

    • 21st March 2017 / 4:45 pm

      Oh bless! See that's just something I do anyway, haha, if I'm ever going out to eat with someone I have to warn them in advance that I'm really clumsy and that things may get messy… x

  4. 21st March 2017 / 8:37 pm

    Oh my god I am sorry I couldn't help laugh because this was me just the other week. I met a guy at an interview can you believe and really fancied him so added him on FB- cringe. We spoke for like 5 minutes and then he didn't reply after. Can't say I blame him lol x

  5. 21st March 2017 / 9:10 pm

    These are fab and hilarious. Something I would do! Mine have been generic drunk messages. I have had hilarious dates such as the guy who messaged me the next day to say he got high on coke the night before. Needless to say that was the end of that. He wore way too much hair gel anyway! x

  6. 21st March 2017 / 10:37 pm

    I've had a laugh to myself reading these! Dating nowadays is so hard with technology adding to the general mistakes we all make. My worst dating story is I went on a date and fell over in the restaurant and head butted the floor as we were walking to the table…I still cringe about it now!

  7. 22nd March 2017 / 9:48 am

    I can really empathise with these stories, I've had similar experiences lol!! x

  8. 22nd March 2017 / 9:51 am

    I did all my dating way before technology hit ha! It must be a totally different world now, I find it fascinating!

  9. 22nd March 2017 / 5:12 pm

    Oh I am so sorry but these literally made me laugh out loud! My dating was done when you had to use a public phonebox to speak to your boyfriend so I never had this happen. But I loved reading about your catastrophes xx

  10. 22nd March 2017 / 10:47 pm

    I think most people can relate to a bad date – my worst is when I showed up and the guy was desperate to show me a new song he'd recorded – he started singing in the bar and he literally sounded like he was yodelling – it was so humiliating

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