I really don’t understand the point of them. How do guys expect us to react upon receiving them?
Do they expect us to reply ‘whoa, I’m so impressed that I’m going to set this as my phone background and drop everything RIGHT NOW and come see you so you can have your wicked way with me?!’
But I digress.
I want – I need a break and so I’m going to take one.
For the next 31 days (at least, maybe even longer) I am giving up online dating and all that comes with it. This means deleting Tinder and the like, and no more flirting. It means no more taking part in casual conversation when a f*ckboy decides to pop up again, and definitely no dates.
It sounds easy, but I know it’s going to have its challenges.
I also think I’ll struggle during those times like Sunday afternoons or Thursday evenings, when people are busy and I have no one to talk to, really. It’s these times that boredom kicks in and I find myself swiping on Tinder or flirting with someone – nearly always out of boredom, and more often than not, because I like the attention.
Everyone likes attention and if I go for a few days without it, that’s usually when I tend to succumb back to the weird and wonderful world of online dating.
A friend recently shared this article with me, and it really hit home.
Although I would like a relationship, until I meet what I feel is the right person, I am guilty, like everyone else, of agreeing to nearly every part of this article. I’m happy to flirt aimlessly on Tinder when I’m bored, and I’ll even go as far to complain about the many conversations that go on and on and on without an end result in sight and without a guy actually wanting to meet in person.
But nine times out of ten, unless we’re really getting along, there’s still a big percent of guys that I have no intention of dating either. I’m happy to chat and flirt and for it to not go anywhere and quite frankly I’m fed up of it.
The article states:
“We “talk” and we text, we Snapchat and we sext. We hangout and we happy hour, we go to coffee and grab a beer – anything to avoid an actual date. We private message to meet up, we small talk for an hour only to return home and small talk via text. We forgo any chance of achieving real connection by mutually playing games with no winner. Competing for “Most Detached”, “Biggest Apathetic Attitude”, and “Best at Being Emotionally Unavailable”, what we end up actually winning is “Most Likely to Be Alone”.”
– and this is just one of many parts of the article that I wholeheartedly agree with.
Here are my rules:
– no dating apps or websites. I have already deleted POF and Tinder
– no real life dating/flirting
– no sex (eek!)
– no flirting with f*ckboys or previous interests. This is going to be tough, because it’s hard to differentiate between flirting and just talking. If an old flame pops up (which they often do when I least expect it), I’m either going to have to not reply or tell them outright that I’m on a no-dating challenge. Of course, this could lead to some awkward conversations, especially if they insist they just wanted to say hello.
– and, obviously, no falling in love 😉
So here goes my 31 (hopefully 31 plus!) days of giving up on dating and the opposite sex altogether – and yes, I will be blogging about it.
I’m hoping I can last until Christmas, which is of course the worst time to give up on the opposite sex, but for now I’m setting myself a challenge for the month of October and then we’ll see how I get on.
I start on the 1st, of course.
Wish me luck and I’ll see you on the other side..